Thank you.....

Today is my birthday. It has obviously been quite some time since I have written, but I wanted to take a minute today to say a special thank you to some of the most beautiful people I know - my friends and my family. Anyone who grew up in or near the Pittsburgh area is extremely familiar with the favorite holiday commercial I have posted below. As a little girl, I loved it because it seemed to fill me with the magic of the season every time my eyes lit up at the TV. As an 18 year old - a mere month before I nearly died - it became of symbol of those people "lifting me up" to beat my anorexia when I was too weak and sick to do it for myself. That commercial meant everything to me.

But this year, the first time I saw it I left the room and cried. It seemed nothing but a cruel reminder that I would never get to the top of that metaphorical tree that I long for in my heart, because I'm not good enough. Not special enough, beautiful enough, sexy enough, successful enough, young enough, fun enough - you name it. After all,if anyone else believes it or says it out loud, it must be true, right? My friends and family have endlessly begged to differ,yet I only heard and saw the negative, relived over and over in my mind. I saw that commercial again last night, and I suddenly saw it through different eyes. I realized that that tree has been reaching down to lift me up the entire time. That tree is the most beautiful tree imaginable because it is made of my family and my friends. People who TRULY know me and love me. No matter who or what pushes me to the ground, they continue to lift me to the top and encourage me to sparkle and shine by being myself, no matter how many times I fall or get pushed back down. Do I really believe that I am worthy in my heart? Not yet. But I did much more so at one time, and I don't think anyone that special would be wasting their time holding me up until I can do it on my own if it wasn't possible to feel that way - and maybe even more - again.


So, thank you -from the bottom of my heart - to each of you that make up that beautiful, beautiful tree. I wish only beauty, true joy, and peace of mind and heart to you - at Christmas time and always.

YES!

Anyone who watches any sort of national news program in the US has- I'm sure- already seen or heard excerpts from this anchor woman's four minute response to an email she received stating in a nutshell that she is a bad role model because of her appearance. Even with our presidential debates in full swing, this story is still all over the internet and eliciting some very strong opinions on both sides of the issue. Despite my former longtime battle with the scale, my reason for sharing this video has less to do with the particulars of the situation and more to do with Jennifer's extremely powerful and equally eloquent message to both bullies and those who are affected by them. I cannot stress enough how VITAL this message is in today's society and hope to broaden and increase my personal activism on such topics with Ms. Livingston as a true inspiration. And a big thank you to her (and her husband and colleagues!) for providing me with an AWESOME reminder.

To Write Love on Her Arms....

An EXTRAORDINARY organization. Please take the time to visit the site this week in honor of National Suicide Prevention Week 2012, if you can.  The link below will take you there.


To Write Love on Her Arms

Real Beauty "Evolution" Response....

After my last post I was bothered by the fact that I was yet again, posting something that was really only relevant to females. I'm a woman, I write what I know as they say, and as indicated by more recent posts, I don't currently have the time and emotional wherewithal  necessary to cover all that I still eventually hope to when it comes to true beauty, ridiculous societal ideals, and how we so often (myself included) buy into the latter due to poor self-image. But a lot of my lengthier posts, despite speaking from a woman's point of view, were (I believe) relevant to men as well, with something positive that could be taken away by the reader regardless of gender. That said, making my last post female specific was nagging at me for some reason, and it caused me to recall a video I came across several months ago. I was - you guessed it - quite busy at the time, so I shared it with my boyfriend, bookmarked it, and vowed to post it as soon as possible. I want to say that was March...it's now September. 

Many of you are familiar with the brilliant "Evolution" commercial made famous by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. I even shared it on this blog a while back. This is a personal response from a young man who chose the very same topic for his thesis, only this time he focused on how much of that pressure to be perfect is put on men, and how often society on the whole, sweeps it under the rug and pretends like it doesn't exist. His explanation at the top of video is far better than anything I could offer, so I'll let it speak for itself.


For the record, I do sincerely hope to get back to including as many different voices into this blog as I can. I realize now how "spoiled" I was with my access to outspoken, diverse, truly beautiful individuals while living in NYC. They live here too (!), don't get me wrong - I know because I'm fortunate enough to know a few of them already - but doing an interview is a whole other ball game, mainly because there's no subway to hop on at all hours of the day and night! At any rate, I hope to have that opportunity sooner rather than later, and I can't wait to share those voices with you when I do. In the meantime, if you have anything to share, please don't be shy in shooting me an email and expressing yourself. I still have a few emails starred in my inbox from those of you who were so kind and generous enough to share your thoughts and future blog contributions with me. I haven't forgotten about you, and I will post them for sure. In the meantime, please take a few minutes to watch the video below. This is not an easy thing to talk about, especially among men, so I applaud not only the young man who was courageous enough to bring this to the forefront through his thesis, but also those who are not ashamed to watch, understand, and learn to love themselves as they are.

No Doubt....

"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother."

                                                      -Kahlil Gibran 

Trust who you are. Believe in what you have to offer. And please, please don't let anything or anyone cause your self-worth to waiver.

Newsworthy Part One....

I'm sure most of you have read about or seen television reports regarding these notable body image themed headlines by now, but just in case you haven't, I really, REALLY think they both have a lot to say. The first is regarding a young ballet dancer from Maine who managed to get Seventeen magazine to agree to keep from altering body shapes when using Photoshop via an online petition through Change.org. What I found most interesting is that I was sent two different articles about this triumph, and while both positive, one had a much more idealistic view of the "body peace treaty", and the other was anything but shy about continuing to put Seventeen and other similar magazines in the hot seat for failing to admit that they have, in fact, manipulated many images that have contributed to countless young women's obsessions with perfection, and by simply acknowledging that this "Photoshop Lite" approach, while very significant, is also quite small when looking honestly at how much needs to change about our culture's views on appearance and beauty. I've chosen to post a link to latter of the two articles because...well, I'm as willful as they come and I applaud these girls and women who refuse to stop until we all find a way to be at peace with our bodies. "Thank you" seems like an understatement.



http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Family/2012/0709/Seventeen-magazine-promises-to-stop-manipulating-photos-of-models


P.S. A very special thank you to Maile for passing these along to me and continuing to keep me hopeful and inspired. Stay tuned for Part Two....

Reflection....

*please visit thepoppytree shop on Etsy for the original image and artist info

I found this image last week during a late night perusal of Etsy. I was instantly captivated. Yes, it's a wonderful visual representation of the immense beauty that lies beneath the superficial exterior, but it also got me thinking about what we see when we look in the mirror versus the actual image reflecting back at us. We've all heard over and over again that we always see ourselves much more critically than anyone else does, and anyone who has battled an eating disorder or severe body image issues certainly knows just how extreme our distorted self-images can become, but working in the retail industry rooted in fashion (and thus appearance) for the past year has made me aware of just how distorted the average woman's view of herself has become. I can't tell you how many times a week I hear (in my opinion) completely unfounded complaints from customers and co-workers about how how fat or ugly or old or not good enough (etc.) they are. It's really quite shocking how much more people seem to give voice to their negative self-image in a smaller city, as compared to what was discussed among women I worked and socialized with in New York. To me this is a testament to how very out of control our society's obsession with perfection has become - specifically for women - and how detrimental it is to the essence of who we truly are. I know firsthand, as I have been far from immune to this overflow of negativity. But I also know that I do NOT want to live my life a prisoner to that poisonous thinking for one more second.


It's still difficult to focus when I write on my laptop due to my ongoing post-concussion syndrome, but as I'm finally in OT treatment for it, I hope to continue to post positive messages more and more often as means to combat what is clearly still a vicious epidemic in our culture. I don't know if it will make a difference, but I'm not giving up. There are far too many beautiful, worthwhile people who deserve to feel that way to give up now.

Breathe Me....

I'll be back!

A long overdue hello to anyone who has taken the time to see if I had posted anything in the recent past. I want to let you all know that it may be a little longer before I post again - hopefully not too long!- because I'm still having some vision/balance issues stemming from a concussion I suffered in late April, and that makes being on the computer for an extended period of time painful - especially when it involves typing or reading type on the screen. Please don't worry, as I'm doing A LOT better than I was. I just have to go through a few more (fingers crossed) doctor's visits and the like to figure out how to get me feeling 100% again. I miss posting, so I'll do my best to write again as soon as I'm able. Thanks again for reading. It really does mean more to me than you know!


                                       

Lynda's Dancin' In Your Drawers Recommendations....

As the big day for Lynda is only a few short days away, I figured I'd better hurry up and post the last of her favorite undie dancing songs before the festivities of "wedding weekend" begin. I've really enjoyed posting these fun,silly little tributes to one of the dearest friends I've ever had. Whether this music has suited your taste or not, I hope you can appreciate the beauty of Lynda's lighthearted openness in sharing songs that help her to feel happy and confident when she cuts loose and embraces herself inside and out....and I sincerely hope you'll log into your iTunes library and start your own playlist to help you do the same.


Lynda Recommends :

#8 Lionel Richie: "All Night Long"-  "Such a cheerful song! Also, it reminds me of the beach for some strange reason."

#9 Journey: " Any Way You Want It"- "I just love Journey!"

Lynda's Dancin' In Your Drawers Recommendations...

It's Friday! I'm sure some of you are working all weekend (like me), but in a few hours it will be Friday night to the rest of the world. As Lynda's list of favorite undie dancing tunes begins to wind down, here's a song appropriate for celebrating the weekend and getting rid of the negativity from the work week while you boogie-oogie-oogie in the privacy of your home.

Lynda recommends :

 #7 Taste of Honey: "Boogie Oogie Oogie"-  "Makes me wish I was at Studio 54 dancing around in Candies high heels and a Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress. Yay!"

Lynda's Dancin' In Your Drawers Recommendations....

Since I missed two days of posting, you get double the undie dancing tunes from Lynda today...Enjoy!



Lynda recommends : 




#5 "What Is Love": Haddaway- "Who doesn't dance around to this song in private?" 

 #6 Pointer  Sisters: "Automatic"- "The best Pointer Sister song ever!"

Lynda's Dancin' In Your Drawers Recommendations....

A double dose of recommendations to get your body movin' and your confidence up as you face the week ahead.


Lynda recommends :

#3 "All I Need Is A Miracle": Mike & The Mechanics-  "It's true... I do need a miracle. LMAO!"

#4" Do You Believe in Love?": Huey Lewis & The News- "I love the lyrics to this song.  And it's so easy to sing."

Lynda's Dancin' In Your Drawers Recommendations....

#2: Lynda Recommends - Promise of a New Day: Paula Abdul- "A good message and it reminds me of my youth."

Ode to Leeeeenda.....

So, nearly a year after attempting to launch my little dancing in your undies project, I'm finally posting some fantastic feedback I received from one of dearest friends, who also happens to be right up there with the most beautiful people I know. And when I say beautiful, I mean inside and out - REAL beauty. Though my timing might seem completely random, it's actually not. Lynda is getting married in just a couple weeks, and I, along with the other members of our affectionately coined "Clump", have the privilege of being part of the wedding. Unfortunately, due to a feisty flu bug and then a jam-packed work schedule, I was unable to make it to all of the pre-wedding festivities to celebrate the bride. But my friends, being as AWESOME as they are, of course made me feel like I was part of each celebration by sending texts and photos, emails and even phone calls. That said, I wanted to do a little something to celebrate Lynda in my own way, and since I never got around to posting the silly goodness of her contribution to "Project Undie Dance", I've decided there's no better time than the present. 

Over the next week I'll be posting one or two youtube videos of Lynda's favorite underwear dancing songs each day, and her reasons for adding them to her personal gettin'-her-groove-on repertoire. I think you'll definitely enjoy it, whether you know Lynda or not.....and maybe you'll even be inspired to shed your inhibitions and let the music move you too! 


It's funny- many years ago I began to call Lynda "Leeeeenda", with a long E sound. At the time I took French in school, so it wasn't until I was living in NYC that I learned that the word "linda" - pronounced the same way as my nickname for her, speaks of her beauty. A perfect fit if there ever was one. This is for you, Leeeeeenda. You have inspired me more than you know. And I can assure you that I will be dancing to at least one, if not more of your recommendations after posting.    ;)




LYNDA RECOMMENDS:


The Bee-gees: You Should Be Dancing- "Well, because I agree! And it is SO fun to make your voice sound like theirs."

Fresh Air....

It's impossible for me to hide my excitement about this post ; not because of anything I have to say, but because of what I feel it represents. First off, I'm going to break one of my personal blogging "rules" and give thanks where thanks is due. I'm obviously willing to write about a plethora of personal feelings, opinions, and such, but I do my best to keep the details of my life to myself and those who actually happen to be a part of my personal life. That said, this post would not be possible if it weren't for the beauty of a wonderful woman I had the good fortune to "meet" a few weeks ago. And that wouldn't have been possible if my awesome boyfriend hadn't felt compelled to share my blog with some friends of his. He knows who he is and knows how grateful I am, but nonetheless, I feel it's an important factor of my excitement in sharing this post with you.

After he posted a link on a social media site, I was completely stunned and humbled to receive a remarkably thoughtful and heartfelt email from his lovely friend, Ulrike. She and I have both heard a lot about each other, but as Ulrike lives in Germany, we haven't had the opportunity to meet. You can imagine my astonishment that not only did someone I have never met (from overseas, no less) want to follow and support my little blog, but has since been so touched by it that she has already sent me some fantastic contributions that I can't wait to share with you. This is wonderful in and of itself, but to me, this is EXACTLY what I hoped to accomplish when I initially started this project several years ago. I wanted to get people talking. I wanted to reach people. And to be able to inspire even one person through my writing is more than I could ask for. I'll sound like a humbled and grateful broken record soon, but even that seems an understatement when I think of what this means to me.

With all that in mind, I'm super excited to share this first contribution from Ulrike. The image above was part of an ad from her local family department store. But what makes this ad so unique is that the "models" pictured are not really models. They are, in fact, actual employees of that very department store! Yes, they had stylists and make-up artists and are looking their best, but they are REAL people. Not these overly photo shopped (and who knows what else!) "ideals" that we see plastered everywhere else. I believe there were still actual models in part of the ad as well, but even so, this is a very positive and realistic step forward. I often get so fueled by my anger over what torment this age of "perfection" has caused me personally that I see possible change as all or nothing. I often feel hopeless,helpless, and doomed to a life where I will never be comfortable in my own skin. I only see the negative. What Ulrike's contribution helped me to realize is that instead of focusing on all the negativity that I can't change, maybe I should pay more attention to the positive aspects that I can share with you and put into play in my own life. The old adage "Rome wasn't built in a day..." has stuck around for a reason, and while you and I can't change society, we CAN change (with patience and practice) how we let it affect us. And just think of what can be put in motion when just a small group of real people learn to defy the odds and truly embrace the REAL, BEAUTIFUL people that we are. 

It's not going to be easy for me. Not at all. But I look at how a few emails and blog posts have mutually inspired two women in a matter of weeks, and I feel hope. I hope I can hold onto that more and more in the coming days, and I hope you can too. Take a deep breath, and savor that beautiful fresh air it brings....

Healing....

                                                


It certainly sounds like something for which we should feel incredible gratitude and pride. When I think of the healing I have done in the last year alone, embarrassment and shame definitely don't make the list of emotions I feel, and I'd venture to guess I'm not alone in that, if I were to ask those of you who have come through physical and emotional battles of your own. Why is it then, that we're so often embarrassed - even ashamed - of our scars? Here I am with my defiant stance against this age of physical "perfection" that we are perpetually force fed, vowing to love and accept myself the way I AM, and yet those closest to me know that my scars are very high on the list of body image hang ups I have never truly accepted. I can be as proud as a warrior fresh from battle, speaking of my G-tube scar and it's constant reminder of how I conquered my Anorexia -but ask me to show that scar to you, and the term "humiliation" would be an understatement for my shift in emotions. Sure, I've come to feel "ok" with it in intimate situations where there is love and trust, but I would be lying if I told you that I didn't feel I was hiding some horrid disfigurement on a daily basis, when I think of that  scar and other imperfections I have acquired from "healing" over the years. A few months ago,someone incredibly special to me attempted to publish these quotes as a comment to one of my posts , but due to an internet glitch that evening, they were lost in cyberspace. I'd like to think I was meant to receive them personally, so that I could not only use them for my own continued healing, but so I could also have the opportunity to pass them along to you. 


I don't know how long it will take, and quite honestly, I don't know exactly how - period - but I am more determined than ever to be as proud of my scars as young Harry is of his in the photo above. It's my sincere hope that you can all feel that way too, and I think reading the beautiful quotations below is an excellent place to start.








"God will not look you over for medals degrees or diplomas, but for scars. "
Elbert Hubbard

"It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars. "
Garrison Keillor

"Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is
a perfect map of the London Underground."
 Albus Dumbledore

...and perhaps the best for last:

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive
characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran

The Right Place At The Right Time....

There's an incredibly special beauty that can only come from being in the right place at that precise moment inspiration strikes ; Inspiration that seems as if it's tailor made for no one else but you. This morning, my place was the internet, and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect inspiration. I never intended to be where I am, but I am so very glad I'm here...

Forward March.....

   

   "I was for a while troubled with a haunting fear that if I handled the flower freely, its bloom would fade – the sweet charm of freshness would leave it. I did not then know that it was no transitory blossom; but rather the radiant resemblance of one, cut in an indestructible gem.”  - from Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)   

Ah, the restlessness of the creative mind. Whatever your art, you know that seeking to which I'm referring. You are passionate about what you're creating, therefore, you can't just put any old thing out there. You want it to be just right ; to express yourself in a way that is yours alone, whether it be a beautiful painting or a heartfelt letter - or even an email! - to a dear family member or friend. It's a wonderful gift - to care so much about what you're creating and sharing - but at the same time we creatives often have a "bazillion!" thoughts and ideas going on at once, and it seems nearly impossible to even make an attempt to express them unless we abandon all other responsibilities, activities - pretty much EVERYTHING else that makes up our daily lives! Free association can be a real pain in the dupa when you simply want to get your point across.

With that in mind, I want to tell you that I too, have so many ideas, so many possibilities for growth and positive changes for this blogging project , so much I want to share - but it seems I've found valid ways to "conveniently" keep myself from doing what gives me so much fulfillment in posting to this blog. I haven't made excuses. I've had a heck of a lot going on, as most working adults trying to build a good life do. But I'm also aware that I've often refused to post until I had an essay that was as close to "perfect" in my eyes as it could get , thus  - you guessed it - completely acting against the mission of this blog. Yes, I love to write.  Yes, I have a very long way to go to become the writer I someday hope to be. But this is a blog about beauty and truth. My absolute favorite thing about it (I've said it many times, so forgive me for putting it out there one more time) is sharing that with whoever happens to be reading ; sharing it with you.  Somewhere in the past few months, that seems to have taken an unfortunate backseat. So... from here on out, that's exactly what I aim to do.

I honestly have no clue what format, if any, I'm going to follow. But I can say for certain that those pesky ideas that I've been squelching until they're "perfectly expressed" (oh, please!) will be brought to the forefront ASAP. Maybe it will be some random thoughts I have about something I saw on TV or an interaction I had with a friend or co-worker. Maybe I'll share some sites filled with visually creatively beauty that I've been lucky enough to learn of, or maybe I'll have some interactive posts. Maybe some polls, interviews,changing the layout - who knows?! But I will be sharing, and I'm looking forward to it.

Stay tuned....I plan on kicking off some "random" posts in the next day or two, and I'd love to share them with you.

An Oldie But Goodie....

No matter how many times you've seen this commercial over the past few years, I sincerely recommend watching it one more time. Or twenty more times. Whatever it takes to help you realize your "Real Beauty", as the Dove brand calls it. I believe it may be even more vital to how we view ourselves now- in 2012- than it was when it first aired. I know it is for me....