A COLONEL OF WISDOM

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep.
That's deep enough. What do you want...an adorable pancreas?"
-Jean Kerr

When Tim first agreed to be a part of my blog, he made it very clear that his participation was dependent on one very important stipulation - that I refer to him as "The Colonel", his nickname and alter-ego for the better part of his young life. The Colonel is a comedian by profession, and in my opinion, a very funny one. I'll never forget the first time we had dinner together. Tim stood up in the dimly lit, fairly crowded restaurant and proceeded to reenact Monty Python's Dead Parrot Sketch in its entirety, at full volume. He's also got some stellar impressions ready to go at the drop of a hat. My personal favorites are Stewie Griffin, Christopher Walken, and Gollum. But despite this extroverted funny man aspect, I know that Tim isn't always "on". Without getting too personal, I'm aware that there have been times when this happy-go-lucky young man hasn't felt so good about himself - both in terms of appearance and otherwise. But one thing I admire about Tim is that he doesn't let it rule his life - or even his day. Sure, some days are better than others. Anyone making a career in any sort of creative field knows all too well the inevitable insecurities that come from the constant comparisons and critiques that are simply part of the job. It's easy to get so wrapped up in our negative views of ourselves that we forget to have fun. I can testify under oath that all it takes is one minuscule negative thought, and suddenly you're facing 10 mountains where that one tiny molehill used to be. Tim lets it go. He writes the joke. He makes people laugh. He does what he enjoys, having fun and appreciating the beauty found in simple things. Very much embodying that famous Oscar Wilde quote, "Life is too important to be taken seriously."

As far as appearances go, there are definitely situations where taking it seriously becomes a necessity. I feel my last entry is a clear illustration of that very need...but that is certainly not always the case. Why let a bad hair day keep you from going to that party? Why spend the evening comparing yourself to the model at the other end of the restaurant,when you could be enjoying a romantic dinner with your boyfriend? Tim's example has taught me that when you're having fun, enjoying and appreciating life, it's the essence of who you are that shines through, and that has the power to make you radiant.

For the record, I almost didn't attend that party where Tim and I met a few years ago - all because of a few pimples on my chin. The perfect example of how much power we can give the most insignificant of negative thoughts. I'm really glad I decided to face my insecurities and go anyway. I had fun, and I made a good friend in the process. So without further ado, here are the Colonel's answers to my questions about beauty. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. In fact, I was so pleased with Tim's responses that I even left the line where he refers to me as "Sar Bear"...as my own personal way of saying thank you.


What is beauty?


I guess I would define beauty as a person's own idea of perfect. I would call it "personal" because what one person might find beautiful, another might find ridiculous or disgusting. And I know it's incredibly cliched to say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but give me a break - I write poop jokes for a living! Personally, to me beauty is a warm smile lounging next to me on the couch.



What is your most beautiful attribute? (This can be physically speaking or otherwise....it depends on how you read the question!)


I'm gonna take the easy one here, Sar Bear, and say the ol' Cusack quality hair.



Name one body image hang-up that you've overcome or are working on overcoming. Tell me how you did it or what you're doing to change how you feel about it.



Well, I never liked my head...apart from the hair, of course. I can't really explain it. It just feels odd to me...like a big ol' Mexican pumpkin! Okay, that sounds weird. I'm not too worried about it though. I think I'll grow into it around my mid-thirties. Also, I wish I had more interesting eyes. I would kill to have that whole two color thing Bowie's got going on.



If you could change one thing about the current standards of beauty in our society, what would it be?


I guess the one thing I would change would be the importance of the standards of beauty in society. I always get so annoyed at the fact that someone can make millions just because they were born looking a certain way or cut themselves to look a certain way...which is really just a tradition of what someone thought people should look like years ago. Also, I would make big pumpkin heads more fashionable.