"Some beautiful things are more impressive when left
imperfect than when too highly finished."
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Every now and then I need a reminder. That’s one of the things I enjoy most about blogging; each time I remind the anonymous reader about the beauty that is available to all of us – and in all of us – I also remind myself. Most of the time this allows my self confidence and security to continue to develop, strengthen and even flourish…but not always. Sometimes I have a bad day, a bad week, a not so hot month. Life can be difficult, and as I’ve pointed out many times over the past few months, it’s really hard to think “Lemonade!” when a truckload of lemons are suddenly dumped on your head. For me, I’ve come to realize that my inner critic - or inner saboteur depending on how you look at it - relishes those times when I’m metaphorically swimming in lemons. Vulnerability sets in and that inner saboteur (aka the part of my mind that seems to specialize in negative thinking) starts talking. I turn difficulties inward and wonder if the faults I see are to blame. That inner monologue gets louder and harder to ignore. Suddenly I’m not good enough in any way. Not talented enough, not capable enough, not intelligent enough, not independent enough – you get the picture. And no matter how unrelated to my physicality those difficulties may be, having battled anorexia and a poor body image for so long makes it very easy for me to let every negative thought lead me back to a litany of flaws in my appearance. Anyone who has battled such issues during their lifetime would I’m sure, attest to the power such thoughts can have if you let them, and though I’m confident in my ability to truly take care of my body and not let that negativity dictate my behavior in nourishing it, I’m not nearly as secure when it comes to accepting myself in the face of that negativity. It’s easy to preach self-acceptance and self- confidence when everything’s coming up roses, but when there seems to be a black cloud over my head – or at least over my mirror - it often feels next to impossible to practice what I preach when it comes to believing it about myself.
Enter my reminder. This one came to me via the AOL news page last weekend, wedged somewhere between the latest scandal involving those crazy Jersey Shore kids and a link to some recent photos of popular starlets walking the red carpet. Knowing that anyone and everyone can call themselves a blogger, I don’t feel wrong in saying that I did not have the highest hopes for the article I was about to read. My sensitivity to, and passion for the topic of body image usually set off a mental alarm, warning me that what I’m about to read, hear, see, may not be something that leads to positive body image thoughts, and in fact might trigger the opposite. Nonetheless, I was under the weather, stuck in my apartment for the weekend, dealing with some stressful situations, and ultimately hating my body, so I figured it couldn't hurt. One sentence in and I knew that I had made the right decision.
To say anything else would, I feel, take away from the essay itself. Quite frankly, I could have easily just posted a link to the article, as it needs no introduction in my opinion. But in keeping with the spirit of self acceptance and self confidence, I decided to force myself to sit down and write a few paragraphs, and I once again got a twofer in the realm of important reminders. What I’m offering to the reader, I’m also offering to myself, and it helps me to see that I am much less of all those negative things I mentioned, especially when I can inspire someone else to feel the same about themselves. I can’t help but feel that the author of this beautifully written piece was rewarded with much of the same. I hope that you’ll take a minute to read Ms. Smith’s essay, so you can feel that wonderful reward of self worth too. You deserve it.
Agi Smith : Every Woman's Body Has a Story and Here Is Mine...
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