New York is an amazing city. The lights,the culture,the buildings,the city that never sleeps. Over 8 million people speaking nearly 170 languages, all living together on one little island and its surrounding boroughs. And of course,many of the most beautiful people in the world. "The most beautiful people in the world"...that's quite a bold statement. But if you've ever visited New York,odds are you've heard that phrase uttered more than once. If the basis for this conclusion is the current standard of beauty set by our society, I don't have much of an argument. A thirty minute commute on the subway is all you need to back up this claim. Legs that go on for miles on your left side, and the six-pack abs and perfect biceps of the gentleman to your right. The most flawless complexions this side of air brushing,perfect smiles,the shiniest hair you've ever seen,sparkling eyes, all outfitted with the finest clothing and accessories that money can buy. Yes,we've certainly got that covered here in the Big Apple. But where does that leave the rest of us? Unfortunately,whether talking to your close friends or perusing the latest eating disorder and body image statistics,the general consensus is that it leaves us feeling disgusting,repulsive,and worthless. Some examples....
- 67% of women withdraw from life-engaging activities like giving
an opinion, going to school, or going to the doctor because they
feel bad about their looks.
- According to ANAD, an estimated 1 million American men suffer
from an eating disorder.
- 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of becoming fat.
- Officials in Fiji reported a sudden increase in anorexia & bulimia
with the arrival of televisions in their communities.
I would be lying if I refused to acknowledge the validity of this idealized perception of beauty.These people are striking. Physically ideal. They are pleasing to the senses in many ways...but when I look at the remainder of the definition of "beauty", letting it settle in my mind for a bit,I realize that,for me, this is not necessarily the beauty that exalts my mind and spirit. I am exalted by the love in the eyes of a mother as she cares for her child,despite having less than two hours of sleep. My spirit soars when I receive a hug from someone who means it. I see immense beauty in someone whose laugh is genuine.... in a man with an honest opinion....in the young woman who has endured more than any human being should ever have to suffer,but still--imperfections,battle scars,bad hair day and all--wakes up each day and lives her life to the fullest,enjoying each moment as it comes,knowing that she is special and worth something. There is so much beauty surrounding us each and every day,but many of us are so blinded by that elusive image of perfection that we fail to notice it,time and time again.
Everyone is different,and everyone is entitled to their opinion. My intention is not to disregard anyone's personal idea of beauty. I simply wish to open up discussions about beauty that will (hopefully!) help open some eyes to just how skewed our current ideals have become. This blog is a work in progress. Right now, I'm choosing to focus on beauty ideals in general,as opposed to those specific to eating disorders,but that could change based on feedback I receive or how the creative spirit decides to move me next. My belief is that the battle against eating disorders needs a project all its own. One that will be worthy of the severity of such illnesses and that will be able to effectively address all the issues surrounding such a devastating epidemic. I assure you that I'm working on it,but in the meantime, why not start talking to people about why it is that so many of us judge ourselves based on the unattainable standards of perfection?
I'm hoping to get some candid opinions from a few different people each month,gathering as diverse a group as possible. Many men are in the same self-loathing boat as we women too, so I'm hoping to include some male voices as well. As I said before,this may change, but I feel confident in using this as a starting point. Feedback,comments,questions-whether public or private-are welcome and encouraged. I simply ask that comments are relevant to each individual's answers to the questions,as opposed to comments or critiques pertaining to the people themselves. I will do my best to make this a positive journey for all of us and refrain from posting anything that might be a trigger for someone in the depths of an eating disorder,but I will not censor simply because ideas or beliefs differ from my own. I'm truly excited to begin to share something so important to me with all of you. If even one person is able to come closer to realizing their true beauty by something that is brought to light through this blog, it will be more than worth it.
"Everything has beauty,but not everyone sees it." -Confucius
May you see it!
Sara, I truly enjoyed your post. I was deeply touched by your definition of beauty as being something that "exalts your mind and spirit." These are the things that are most important important in life, despite the importance that society has placed on superficial descriptions. Perhaps what is best is to strike a balance between various activities that consume our energy(s) in some manner, be it the pursuit of health and beauty or that of higher forms of personality such as kindness and honesty towards ourselves and others. That being said, to strike that perfect balance takes discipline and the wisdom to guide you along the path. Sara, it seems you are well on your way towards the goal!
ReplyDeleteBest Regards,
Lynda