Dancin' In Your Drawers : JANET

"Promise me you'll always remember : You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - (Christopher Robin to Pooh) A.A. Milne

I should have known better than to avow in my last post that I would publish all the underwear dancing feedback I've received within a week or two. Once again life had other plans which have mainly consisted of doing my best to take care of myself and rest every waking moment I’m not at work, due to a pesky little virus that decided to pay me a visit as of last weekend. I refuse to complain because this was absolutely nothing compared to anything I’ve experienced in the illness realm over the past few years, but nonetheless I wasn’t quite feeling up to thought provoking writing or the typing of it.  I’m still not feeling the greatest, but sometimes taking care of oneself means doing so emotionally. Feeling in need of some emotional TLC today, I’ve decided to blog. As I mentioned in my last entry, due to time constraints and still working on lining up a couple of interviews in the not so distant future (Yes, interviews! They’re coming, and I promise they will be worth the wait!) I’m going to make the focus of my next few posts, sharing the fun and inspiring thoughts some of my long time friends sent my way about their personal experiences dancing in their underwear. I’ve held on to these emailed thoughts and musings since they started trickling into my inbox early this summer. I hope that despite the lapse in time, they’ll still provide you with the uplifting and even heartwarming feelings they stirred up for me when I read them.

To kick things off, I’m starting with the beautiful reply I received from my dear friend, Janet. A few posts back I made mention that the people I am fortunate enough to have in my life right now really do accept me and love me just as I am in a way that I have never felt so strongly before, but what I didn’t add is that whether I always believed them or not, some of those very people have been accepting me "as is" for quite some time now. Janet is most definitely an excellent case in point. To write about the bumps in the road of life throughout our friendship would require a book, but I can assure you that I’m immensely grateful for every single page. Janet became my friend when I didn’t really have any concept of who or what I was outside of my eating disorder. I was at a new school, starting late in the year due to my first string of hospitalizations for my anorexia and that’s all anyone knew of me. I was the anorexic girl who everyone tried to be extra nice to because I was “fragile” and “sick”. With those labels as an introduction how would anyone possibly see me for me…. if there even was a me? I’m still not quite sure how, but Janet did. She became a key part of a group of the kindest, funniest, unique, and non-judgmental young ladies I have ever met who, unbeknownst to us, were solidifying what has grown into a lifelong bond of friendship. All because she and the other young ladies - more on them in future posts. stay tuned. - saw in me what I couldn’t, and they liked it a whole heck of a lot. We quickly coined ourselves “The Clump”, and the rest is history. To this day, some of my most sincere giggles come from reminiscing about the ridiculous things that would happen when we put our heads together. But as enjoyable as it would be to take a stroll down memory lane and recall the fun and happy times, I bring all this up because I don’t know if I have ever adequately expressed how much the true friendship, acceptance, and love of those young ladies did for me then and continues to do for me today. Truth be told, by our senior year of high school they were watching me die. They got rides in from another state more than once to see me emaciated and hooked up to machines, not knowing if that visit was going to be the last. And through it all, they saw me.  ME. The girl that’s still an enormous part of the woman I am today. I honestly don’t know how they did it, but I believe that the love and acceptance they showed me is the greatest gift that friendship has to offer.

I hope that sharing this doesn’t put a damper on the inspiring words Janet has to offer. My intention in sharing that glimpse into our early friendship was as far from that as it could be. Instead I hoped it would  add to the meaning behind what she wished to share, and that you would be better able to understand the sincerity, thoughtfulness, and beauty that I have been privileged enough to experience time and time again, simply because she is my friend.

I’d like to clarify that Janet’s sentiments - as will be the case with comments from any of the other women I will be posting in the coming weeks - are completely her own. I simply sent around an email letting them know about my undie dancing project idea and asking for some song recommendations and hopefully specific feedback.  I am truly honored to have received the awesome responses I did. So let's get to it. Here is what Janet had to say about the value of dancing in your drawers.

                                                                                                                                                          

" WHERE TO START?!?!?  OMG!!!  So to start off I will dance around (in my own house) in undies or fully clothed to just about anything! Currently, Rock of Ages OBC (original Broadway cast) and anything Glee soundtrack. Music in general helps me to feel better, no matter what is going on.  I of course LOVE LOVE LOVE Glee!!!  It makes me miss "The Clump" so much!  Glee in general makes me think of sleepovers in Christa's basement and carefree time.  Times before paying bills, before working everyday, and days of sharing my inner most thoughts with "the clump" who understood and each had a different perspective on those thoughts, days when I could see my friends everyday. In general music is what heals the soul.  I use it everyday with my students as well.  When things are stressful in the classroom we put on a dancing tune and take min or two and dance!  To quote Shrek the musical "Let your freak flag fly!" I love your blog; it is very enlightening and helpful.  Please keep writing.  Never forget that it’s the arts that help us to live!  Whether its painting, sketching, writing, cooking, dancing, singing, acting, or doing a silly craft it’s something to help you escape or cope with life!  These are the things that make us who we are!  

You think once you’re out of high school/ adolescence that all your immature fears go away, but they don't.  Your life changes and somehow to expect to "grow up" but parts of us never do.  Sometimes this is a good thing, like letting your inner child out.  But sometimes your inner adolescent escapes as well.  I get caught up in your old fears of beauty. What you should look like, how much you should weigh, and such. Only now it adds in all the beauty components with your adult responsibilities.  So not only must you be model looking, but also Wonder Woman at the same time with a career.  So how does one get over all of this?  Through escapes like music and dance.  Thank goodness for my home and window blinds!  When things feel completely overwhelming it's time to shake what your mamma gave ya!  So I LOVE LOVE LOVE the dancing undie project!"  

I wanted to post a song to pass along some dancing inspiration based on what each friend had to say, so in honor of my friendship with Janet, I’m taking it back old school. I fondly recall her love for TLC when we first met. So this is for you. Get your groove on, girlfriend! I assure you I will absolutely be doing the same as soon as I click “publish”.