Real Beauty "Evolution" Response....

After my last post I was bothered by the fact that I was yet again, posting something that was really only relevant to females. I'm a woman, I write what I know as they say, and as indicated by more recent posts, I don't currently have the time and emotional wherewithal  necessary to cover all that I still eventually hope to when it comes to true beauty, ridiculous societal ideals, and how we so often (myself included) buy into the latter due to poor self-image. But a lot of my lengthier posts, despite speaking from a woman's point of view, were (I believe) relevant to men as well, with something positive that could be taken away by the reader regardless of gender. That said, making my last post female specific was nagging at me for some reason, and it caused me to recall a video I came across several months ago. I was - you guessed it - quite busy at the time, so I shared it with my boyfriend, bookmarked it, and vowed to post it as soon as possible. I want to say that was March...it's now September. 

Many of you are familiar with the brilliant "Evolution" commercial made famous by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. I even shared it on this blog a while back. This is a personal response from a young man who chose the very same topic for his thesis, only this time he focused on how much of that pressure to be perfect is put on men, and how often society on the whole, sweeps it under the rug and pretends like it doesn't exist. His explanation at the top of video is far better than anything I could offer, so I'll let it speak for itself.


For the record, I do sincerely hope to get back to including as many different voices into this blog as I can. I realize now how "spoiled" I was with my access to outspoken, diverse, truly beautiful individuals while living in NYC. They live here too (!), don't get me wrong - I know because I'm fortunate enough to know a few of them already - but doing an interview is a whole other ball game, mainly because there's no subway to hop on at all hours of the day and night! At any rate, I hope to have that opportunity sooner rather than later, and I can't wait to share those voices with you when I do. In the meantime, if you have anything to share, please don't be shy in shooting me an email and expressing yourself. I still have a few emails starred in my inbox from those of you who were so kind and generous enough to share your thoughts and future blog contributions with me. I haven't forgotten about you, and I will post them for sure. In the meantime, please take a few minutes to watch the video below. This is not an easy thing to talk about, especially among men, so I applaud not only the young man who was courageous enough to bring this to the forefront through his thesis, but also those who are not ashamed to watch, understand, and learn to love themselves as they are.

Newsworthy Part One....

I'm sure most of you have read about or seen television reports regarding these notable body image themed headlines by now, but just in case you haven't, I really, REALLY think they both have a lot to say. The first is regarding a young ballet dancer from Maine who managed to get Seventeen magazine to agree to keep from altering body shapes when using Photoshop via an online petition through Change.org. What I found most interesting is that I was sent two different articles about this triumph, and while both positive, one had a much more idealistic view of the "body peace treaty", and the other was anything but shy about continuing to put Seventeen and other similar magazines in the hot seat for failing to admit that they have, in fact, manipulated many images that have contributed to countless young women's obsessions with perfection, and by simply acknowledging that this "Photoshop Lite" approach, while very significant, is also quite small when looking honestly at how much needs to change about our culture's views on appearance and beauty. I've chosen to post a link to latter of the two articles because...well, I'm as willful as they come and I applaud these girls and women who refuse to stop until we all find a way to be at peace with our bodies. "Thank you" seems like an understatement.



http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/Family/2012/0709/Seventeen-magazine-promises-to-stop-manipulating-photos-of-models


P.S. A very special thank you to Maile for passing these along to me and continuing to keep me hopeful and inspired. Stay tuned for Part Two....

Fresh Air....

It's impossible for me to hide my excitement about this post ; not because of anything I have to say, but because of what I feel it represents. First off, I'm going to break one of my personal blogging "rules" and give thanks where thanks is due. I'm obviously willing to write about a plethora of personal feelings, opinions, and such, but I do my best to keep the details of my life to myself and those who actually happen to be a part of my personal life. That said, this post would not be possible if it weren't for the beauty of a wonderful woman I had the good fortune to "meet" a few weeks ago. And that wouldn't have been possible if my awesome boyfriend hadn't felt compelled to share my blog with some friends of his. He knows who he is and knows how grateful I am, but nonetheless, I feel it's an important factor of my excitement in sharing this post with you.

After he posted a link on a social media site, I was completely stunned and humbled to receive a remarkably thoughtful and heartfelt email from his lovely friend, Ulrike. She and I have both heard a lot about each other, but as Ulrike lives in Germany, we haven't had the opportunity to meet. You can imagine my astonishment that not only did someone I have never met (from overseas, no less) want to follow and support my little blog, but has since been so touched by it that she has already sent me some fantastic contributions that I can't wait to share with you. This is wonderful in and of itself, but to me, this is EXACTLY what I hoped to accomplish when I initially started this project several years ago. I wanted to get people talking. I wanted to reach people. And to be able to inspire even one person through my writing is more than I could ask for. I'll sound like a humbled and grateful broken record soon, but even that seems an understatement when I think of what this means to me.

With all that in mind, I'm super excited to share this first contribution from Ulrike. The image above was part of an ad from her local family department store. But what makes this ad so unique is that the "models" pictured are not really models. They are, in fact, actual employees of that very department store! Yes, they had stylists and make-up artists and are looking their best, but they are REAL people. Not these overly photo shopped (and who knows what else!) "ideals" that we see plastered everywhere else. I believe there were still actual models in part of the ad as well, but even so, this is a very positive and realistic step forward. I often get so fueled by my anger over what torment this age of "perfection" has caused me personally that I see possible change as all or nothing. I often feel hopeless,helpless, and doomed to a life where I will never be comfortable in my own skin. I only see the negative. What Ulrike's contribution helped me to realize is that instead of focusing on all the negativity that I can't change, maybe I should pay more attention to the positive aspects that I can share with you and put into play in my own life. The old adage "Rome wasn't built in a day..." has stuck around for a reason, and while you and I can't change society, we CAN change (with patience and practice) how we let it affect us. And just think of what can be put in motion when just a small group of real people learn to defy the odds and truly embrace the REAL, BEAUTIFUL people that we are. 

It's not going to be easy for me. Not at all. But I look at how a few emails and blog posts have mutually inspired two women in a matter of weeks, and I feel hope. I hope I can hold onto that more and more in the coming days, and I hope you can too. Take a deep breath, and savor that beautiful fresh air it brings....

TOM

"The thing that is really hard - and really amazing - is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."

- Anna Quindlen

As much as I despise the word "perfection", I'll admit that despite my best efforts, I seem to have -in one way or another - been in constant pursuit of this very state for the majority of my life. Growing up, I was pretty good at almost every endeavor undertaken - sometimes even really good. But I was never the best. To me, this meant failure. As I got a little older, this trend shifted more and more towards appearance related matters, and there's no question - obsession was the name of the game. It seemed the more I primped and preened to make myself "pretty", the more I felt like I would never be pretty enough. I would never look perfect, therefore I would never amount to anything. And it's pretty clear that the almost nine year battle with my eating disorder was the inevitable collision of these two fruitless quests for something that is simply an impossible feat for any human being to achieve. The better you are at it, the sicker you get. And the sicker you get, the closer you are to death. If death was the ultimate prize, then I was closer to perfection than I had ever been.

But since embarking on my journey to recovery several years ago, and discovering (and rediscovering) all the life that had been lost to me, I have gained a much healthier perspective regarding perfection. Being the best me that I can be is far more attractive to me than some unattainable physical standard that random people decided on and immediately proclaimed to be fact. But life is not always easy, and old habits die hard. One negative thought about myself leads to another, leads to another, and before I realize what's happening, there I am, back in that same old pattern in which I will never, ever be good enough. Being able to recognize beauty in so many different aspects of people and life around me does not mean that I'm immune to the pressures of today's society that - let's face it - can overwhelm even an extremely self-confident person. Intellectually, I know better - but that feeling inside takes a lot more than a few positive affirmations to make it dissipate. For me, it takes a knock-your-socks-off wake up call. And in a recent battle with negativity, that's exactly what I got, via an email from a close friend about an encounter he had with a young woman on the subway. He immediately thought of me and my blog, and I have since been trying to determine the best way to share it with all of you. I don't think it's any small coincidence that it also happens to be so relevant to the wonderful interview that you'll soon be reading.

My friend was seated on a bench at the subway platform, waiting for the train, when an attractive young woman sat down next to him. She was probably about 25 or 26, and based on her look and manner, he felt that she must have been a model. Almost immediately after sitting down, she opened her bag and took out some very rich red lipstick, which she carefully applied. Then she did a round with some foundation and concealer - searching her compact mirror for the tiniest blemish and immediately targeting it with her pad. Next she pulled out a second lip implement, this time a gloss to go over her already bright red lips - with no apparent effect. Moments later, the train arrived and they boarded. My friend took a seat, but she instead, stood in front of the closed door and proceeded to use it as a mirror while she fussed with herself - her hat, her hair, her clothing, etc. When she finally did sit down, she once again brought out the lipstick, followed by the compact. She continued to do this for about ten minutes straight, and to his eyes, she didn't look all that different from when she first sat down on the platform bench - except for that fact that her lips were perhaps a little brighter. He said that he couldn't help but see in her procedures, a nervousness - as if she feared she would overlook some imperfections, and no matter how many minutes of every hour she spent touching up, she would never look right or feel good enough. He thought perhaps she was en route to an audition or shoot, and that was why she was making such a fuss. But maybe she couldn't help it, and that thought made him sad. So as he exited the train, he passed in front of her - where her pad was still moving feverishly about her face - and said, "Look, I'm a stranger, so I hope I'm not too forward - but you look great." She smiled and thanked him as he left the car and went on his way, hoping that maybe she would put her compact away and just enjoy the train ride to wherever she was going. Maybe his candid reassurance of her beauty would help her to put things in perspective. Maybe not.

As I finished the email, I began to cry. I may not have the physicality of a model, but in many ways, I saw myself in that young woman. Yes, I've grown by leaps and bounds when it comes to accepting and appreciating myself the way I am, but that old insecurity still found a way to rear its ugly head - and it took the recognition of it in a complete stranger to get me to realize it. I'm sure that my friend's compliment regarding her appearance did reassure her and help her to relax for a bit - but for how long? An hour? Twenty minutes? Five? We can only find true reassurance and acceptance within ourselves, and that's no easy task. But the fact that I've been able to do it - even if only temporarily - is proof that it can be done and proof to me that life is definitely more rewarding when it is. This blog, and particularly these wonderful interviews, continue to help and inspire me, and it's my hope that they'll continue to do the same for you.

This latest chat with my friend, Tom, was so honest and in depth that we talked far beyond the recording capacity of the 60 minute cassette, and the tape - unbeknownst to us - came completely off the frame and was unable to be played back. Luckily, after much trial and error, another friend was able to repair the tape, so that I can share with you the part of the interview that was recorded. It's far from easy to be truly candid in discussions like these, but Tom went above and beyond the call of duty. Perhaps the plethora of super hero knowledge he's acquired from editing comics has made "going above and beyond..." par for the course. At any rate, I was and am deeply moved and inspired by his thoughts, and I hope you will be too.

I seem to recall Tom -who also happens to be writer and comedian- jokingly remark that "pretty" people don't work in comics. Well, based on this interview, there's at least one person who's definitely adding some real beauty to that medium. And I'd venture to guess that I'm not alone in that opinion.


So, other than the fact that I strongly suggested you do an interview based on our recent conversations, what was it that drew you to this project?


I'm not entirely certain what it is that drew me to this project, because my self image is something I don't make too big a deal of in conversations with people. It's something that you really wouldn't know is such a big deal to me unless I took the time to explain how it is such a big deal to me. The fact is, I'm frequently late to work with how much I kinda fuss over my appearance in the morning - not just in an egotistical way. I'm very nervous to look so bland and put so much effort into it. It's much more than you would think. And just in general, the concept of beauty in the abstract is very intriguing to me, cause it's something I keep very quiet about to myself. But it is something I think about and obsess on a lot. It's kind of interesting to see a situation where I could finally talk about it in a freer manner than I normally do.


I realize this is difficult to do on the spur of the moment, but how would you define beauty? What is beauty, to you?


It's interesting...when you get older - that's a weird thing to say when you're in your 20's - but suddenly a simple question is no longer easy to answer. I remember the first day of this art history class, sophomore year of high school - the teacher asked us all to scream for him and none of us would...we had no idea what this nutcase was asking us. But he also asked us, "How many of you like to draw?" and half the class put their hands up. He asked those of us who didn't, "What do you mean? When you were a kid, if you wanted to draw your mom and dad, you drew a circle, some sticks for arms, and that was your mom and dad!" . Now you want to come up with a really complex answer, cause you're afraid if you say, "Ooh..a sunset!" , it's a cliche'. I'd say beauty is when something is done the right way - whatever it is. Like, you see the "master" of something - whether or not they're famous - do something that they do so well, and there's something beautiful to it. If you watch a really fantastic artist draw something, it's less the act of them drawing....or you know, a really fantastic musician playing - if you look at their eyes, it's the intensity and excitement that they get doing what they do so well, because of a devotion to it. And I guess somewhere in there you could find my definition of what beauty means to me. The easy answer is "Oh, beauty is truth", but that was already written by someone a very long time ago. But reality is a very beautiful thing to me, and I guess my definition of beauty is seeing something the way it's meant to be.


Now this is a difficult question, or at least I think it will be, based on what you've shared with me. What do you consider to be your most beautiful attribute? And it doesn't have to be physical. It can be physical, not physical, or both. Whatever you feel.


You've asked that question at a very interesting time, cause the last couple weeks I've been at the all time low of my self esteem - so that's a tough call. My most beautiful attribute.....Well, physically, I really like my hair. I think it's good hair. Right now it's kinda short, it's not where I want it to be...but I come from people with very, very good hair. Hmm. I would say, probably for me, my most beautiful attribute - without getting too full of myself....


You can get full of yourself.


Good, cause I'm gonna. Okay - it's weird to me how much I care about other people, people I barely know. As I've mentioned before in conversation with you, I guess I'm a really good listener because a lot of people feel comfortable telling me things about themselves and about problems or situations they may have. And I do find myself inexplicably drawn to, if not help out, then at least listen. So few people listen to people. So few people will take the time to sit down if you have a problem. I frequently feel like I can't really talk to anyone about my problems, so I like the fact that I'm able to listen and be there for people. And I think that if more people had someone who heard them, their lives would be a lot easier. I am proud of myself, that I'm willing to recognize and do my best - without being too obnoxious - to be there for them.



Is there something in particular that you've struggled with regarding your appearance....that you've either overcome or are working on overcoming? If so, how did you do it, or what are you currently doing to change how you feel about it?


I think the answer to that is twofold. One thing that I have not overcome and am very aggravated with myself for, is that I'm not in particularly good shape. I could stand to be in a lot better shape. A lot of my friends are excited about beach season, but I am not. I do not have a particularly in shape upper body, and I intend to work on that. It doesn't help that I've got a certain amount of body hair too, but that's something that I can easily take care of with 60 bucks and a Russian woman with wax. Painful, painful wax....

For a long time I have struggled with and am aggressively working on my posture. I slouch a lot, slump a lot. I say this as I sit incredibly inappropriately on this bench. But, you know- it's nighttime, it's different. I've noticed that it does a lot for my mood and it does a lot for how people perceive me when I stand up straight. In general, I do feel better about myself when I sit upright and balanced. Something I've told no one....I am looking into ballet classes at the recommendation of my boss, who was an actor back in the olden days. Yeah, that's right. I do not carry myself as well as I should, and I'm working on it. But I tend to kind of hide in myself, and I'm trying not to.



Do you think that it has more to do with insecurities about who you are as a person that make you carry yourself that way, which maybe in turn, makes you feel less confident about yourself physically?


Absolutely. I was an incredibly shy child. I was very, very quiet. In a lot of ways I've gotten over that, but in other ways, I am still very much a quiet person. People who know me personally, would be shocked to see me at work, where I'm very serious and very quiet. Whereas when I'm out of work, I'm very loud and - not loud - but I'm very communicative. There's a lot to that sort of, do my best to not be noticed, and I'm working on that. I'd say my fashion sense had a lot to do with that for a while. For the longest time, I had as nondescript a fashion sense as you could imagine. I was like a cartoon character. T-shirt, jeans - that's it. And in the last couple years, I really kinda pushed it to....to dress a little bit more like an adult. I still tend to dress in much darker, more autumn like colors, cause it can still be kind of camouflage, but I'm gettin' there. I'm gettin' there. I am constantly in this battle of trying to get noticed, while trying not to get noticed. I'm not sure what it is. I think I'm naturally predisposed to a more introverted kind of lifestyle, but at the same time, I feel I have a lot to offer in terms of talent, drive, and care....and I don't feel like it's the right thing to stay shy. It's like " Oh, I'm over here!/ Don't worry about it." And I'd say a lot of that does have to do with the way I carry myself, in hopes that I could just kinda physically disappear.


So, if you could change one thing about our society's current standard of beauty, what would it be?


What would I like to change......it does seem increasingly equated with money. I cannot figure out for the life of me, why people think that certain wealthy celebrities are beautiful. And I wish we would stop bluffing around the term. You know that woman - what's her name - Susan Boyle? The British woman who's on that show....and everyone's so shocked that she's such a good singer - like people who aren't "pretty" can't be good singers. People can't figure out, "Why is it so exciting? Why is it so exciting?". It's like well, we're all so excited because someone who's not considered pretty was successful! I just wish we would stop bullshitting it so much and stop acting like we can't figure it out. Like, " Oh, good looking people are successful - why?!". We all know why, cause we all want to be them, and we all know why we're so excited about stories like this, because it's so "shocking" that an unattractive person would be talented at something. If that's the way it's gonna be, that's too bad. A lot of talented singers are gonna have better careers in the recording studio than they are performing, and that's too bad. But if that's the way it's gonna be- fine. I just wish we'd stop acting like it was such a shock.

I do feel in general, beauty is a term loosely thrown around. You wanna say someone's good looking- fine, but so many extreme words are just thrown around in the media and attached to everything. The word "beautiful" is ascribed to every attractive or good looking actress. I mean, there are a lot of good looking actresses who I wouldn't necessarily call beautiful. I do feel there's a standard. What I'd change about that standard - I don't know. It's such an arbitrary thing, and it's such an opinion based thing, that I don't like that it's thrown around as fact, I guess. Someone may be good looking, but that doesn't make them beautiful. And at the same time, there are a lot of beautiful people who may not be stereotypically good looking. It's just like, enough papers and enough opinions are out there that have all effectively argued the fact that our culture places such a priority on physical beauty. I wish we would stop acting like we don't know what the solution is to this kind of problem. Like, "Boy- this kind of culture of glorifying people just for their physical attributes, personal wealth, and expensive clothing has somehow led to all these negative effects - but what could we possibly do to stem it? ". You know - stop. That's it. Not do what we do every day. I used to work on the CBS Early Show as a production assistant, and we'd have models on all the time. And it was weird looking at them - same with a few anchors - when they first get there in the morning. You realize that certain people are just genetically designed in a way that the camera is good to them. I mean, I can see that they're pretty, but you eliminate that camera, and they might not be held up as this epitome of beauty.

It's kind of baffling to me that after all the discussion we've had, in this age of so much information, when so many voices can be heard and so many people have a chance - we still can't get past this. We still can't man up and say, this is incredibly wrong...the way we hold - girls really more than guys. Guys too, but much more girls - to this unfair standard that is destroying their lives and destroying how they are. The answer's there. We just have to stop pretending that we don't know how to face the problem because we realize how much money there is to be made in selling stuff with pretty people. That's the one piece of good that I hope comes out of this whole Susan Boyle thing. Maybe we'll start believing, boy- you don't have to be "pretty" to sell things! But it is ridiculous to me. Everyone's just so afraid of losing money and that they can't win the fight, that no one will step up and say we should stop doing this. There are a lot of "this's" that we know how to stop doing, but don't. And in my opinion, one big one is our society's obsession with pretty people.

MORGAN

"And I just want my life to be true.
And I just want my heart to be true.
And I just want my words to be true.

I want my soul to feel brand new."

- A Gift For Melody Anne by The Avett Brothers

The quest. Such an exhilarating prospect. I was born with a seemingly insatiable need to know, and I have been searching and exploring for as long as I can remember. Whether navigating my way through the "forbidden" forest of pine trees in a neighbor's yard, daring to have our club meeting on the ledge of "Dead Man's Cliff" (in actuality, a small but steep hill filled with unruly weeds), testing the neighborhood mailbox to see if it made a good sliding board (it did), or turning the old oak tree into an impromptu basketball hoop -- my childhood had no limit to possibilities. Even as a young adult, moving solo to an enormous city in which I knew no one was the perfect example of that need to search and discover. But I find that the circumstances surrounding this constant quest change greatly for many of us as we grow. As adults, the search seems to become less about appreciating what we've found and more about taking our latest discovery and judging it, analyzing it, and then moving on to see if we might find something even better. I'm every bit as guilty as the next person , but I feel that in this analysis and picking apart , we often lose the beauty of the circumstances, the person, the moment.

What fascinates me about Morgan is that he still explores with the curiosity of a child, yet has the wisdom to appreciate it for what it is before moving on to something else. Beauty seems to follow him wherever he goes, but in actuality, he's simply noticing it, taking it in, appreciating it. He continues on his search , not because there is something better, but because there is something different, something beautiful in a way that's not quite like anything he's noticed before. Each new discovery making his world a little more beautiful along the way. Pretty wise for a young soul.

We had scheduled our little interview on a day that started out a less than great day for both of us, but keeping with Morgan's philosophy, we not only met to chat anyway, but also found a neat little park that neither of us had been to before. Perhaps circumstances were not the best, and maybe the park wasn't the grandest or prettiest park in Brooklyn, but it was still beautiful in its own unique way. A way that , had I not put my worries aside and sat down to discuss, listen, notice, and appreciate, I may have missed entirely.

Although somewhat condensed for time and effect, what you are about to read are Morgan's candid thoughts on beauty. He expressed an interest in being interviewed after his very first reading of the blog , and I was more than willing to hear any new ideas he might have in mind. He said that he would prefer to have more of a real time discussion instead of writing out his thoughts and possibly over thinking things a bit , so that's just what we did. Armed with a tape recorder-- complete with a microphone, no less--we hit a cozy park bench and chatted for the better part of an hour. Once I realized that I had the recorder on "hold", and therefore was not recording anything , we were able to remedy the situation and have a discussion that certainly left me with the sense that world was even more beautiful than when we first sat down. Enjoy......

So, what was it about the blog that peaked your interest and made you want to be a part of it?


Do you want to test it again and see if it's okay? Test, Test, Test. Hopefully this will work....I think that the conversation is one that should happen and doesn't happen often enough. I feel like, in leaving the concept of beauty up to external forces--often times advertisers who are trying to sell you something--you lose a lot of the complexity and the variety. A variety of things can be beautiful, and there are different types of beauty. It's not just as simple as I think it's often made out to be.


On that note, I'll ask you what beauty is to you?


I think at its very core , beauty is a way of looking at the world. There are so many different facets to it. There's physical beauty, but there's also natural beauty--and different people see different things as beautiful. It really is in the eye of the beholder in the sense that any number of people can look at the exact same thing, and some will think it's beautiful and some will not. And just because there's a consensus on something doesn't necessarily make it any more or less true for any one individual.



You said that you think this is a conversation that should happen. Do you think that people are afraid to talk about beauty, and if so, why do you think that is?

I don't know....maybe not afraid, but I feel like there are a lot of conversations that people tend not to have because it's a conversation that goes a little bit deeper. Most conversations are , "Hi... How are you?", and it's implied that the answer should just be, "Fine". There are a lot of conversations that people don't tend to have because it makes life easier not to think too much about specific topics, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it. And that's one of the reasons--again, going back--that interested me in doing this blog. It's actually an attempt to restart the conversation and something that dares to go beyond the basic, "How are you?", and actually look for some kind of truth. That, in its own way, is a beautiful thing.


Truth?


Oh yeah.



Still rolling--that's good. Another question I normally ask is, what is your most beautiful attribute? It can be physical...or not. Or both! Whatever you think.


The physical attribute I've gotten told the most often would be my eyes, but if it was up to me, I would say it would not be physical, and I would go with my sense of adventure. I think that is my most beautiful attribute.



As far as physical beauty goes, do you have any hang-ups about your appearance that you've overcome?


Yeah....I mean, I definitely have physical hang-ups. I think everyone does. The biggest one would be that I was always a little on the chubbier side, and in the last year I've lost like 30 lbs., so that's probably....



I never would have guessed that.


I get that a lot, which is strange because for so long I was the funny, chubby kid. You know ,if life was a teen movie, I was the overweight best friend. I was the sweet funny character. That is what I did.



I'm trying to come up with a question that has to do with your being an actor, but I'm drawing a blank.


I've got something! So, truth and beauty, I feel , go hand in hand. There's beauty to truth, even if it's not an attractive truth. As long as it's something that's really true, I feel like it's got some degree of beauty to it. I like acting and theatre because I feel like, at its best, it's searching for moments of truth, and that is a beautiful thing. I definitely know that when I see something that's really beautiful, it strikes me as true, and if I see something that I feel is untruthful, regardless of its physical beauty, I'm completely unattracted to it. That extends itself into people too. The truth is easy. It's buoyant. Where as dishonesty is heavy, and you have to fight to keep it above water. When you let go of deception--of yourself or others--it's just so much easier. And the positivity in that--the lightness--can be really beautiful. You're free to express whatever or whoever you want to be, and I think that freedom can be beautiful as well. I think that everything positive is connected, and if you make the simple decision that you want to live life with beauty and truth and lightness and ease, it starts a domino effect, and that can't help but improve the world--as lofty as that sounds.



If you could change one thing about society's current standard of beauty, what would it be?



I would say that I'd like to see more flexibility. I feel that there's such a rigid idea of what's beautiful, and it changes. What's beautiful to society now is not what was beautiful a couple hundred years ago. And who knows, in another couple hundred years, what it will be. Kinda broaden the horizons a little bit. Like, if you're not blond with giant boobs, you can still be beautiful. I had a job in the fashion industry for a little while, and one day my job was to take pictures of models--not as professional photography--but to send off because they were trying to decide which model to use. It was the first time I had seen a bunch of models up close. So often they're held up as the epitome of beauty. They do have a strange kind of beauty about them , but I personally, didn't think a single one of them was attractive. I think it's strange that such an emphasis is placed on such a limited kind of beauty, and then that becomes the ideal that people are trying to match themselves to. I feel like without the fashion industry, those people might not be held up as beautiful. I think that's not what most people should be going for, and I discourage anyone from trying to be that.



Lastly, to take a note from one of our Michael Chekhov exercises, what are some things--off the top of your head--that you find beautiful?


Babies. Little babies? Adorable! Tiny little fingers, little fingernails--they're so small! It's amazing! And puppy dogs. I have to be dragged away from pet store windows, lest I break in and steal all the puppies and take them home with me. Natural beauty is a big one for me, and that's a little hard coming from California and living in New York now. New York's got a different kind of beauty. I feel it's a little harder to find. Natural beauty is more accessible. In California there's the rocky coast lines and the redwood trees and the fog rolling in off the ocean. That's gonna be beautiful either way. But at the same time, a full moon peeking out from behind a giant skyscraper can be its own kind of beautiful. It just depends on how you want to see it, because most everything can be beautiful if you want it to be.

I really do think it can be a conscious choice. You can just decide you want the world to be a beautiful place, and then you'll look for it. And because you're looking for it, you'll find it. And you'll find it in places that you didn't think you would find it. I can't put a specific moment on when I made that decision, but it was definitely within the last few years. I wasn't unhappy, but definitely not enjoying life as much as I am now, and part of it was just a decision that I was gonna enjoy it and it was gonna be beautiful. And now it is. When I see people who don't see beautiful things, it baffles me now. It seems so basic a thing to see a tree that's starting to bloom because it's Spring, and think that's beautiful. I can't imagine living life if you weren't able to enjoy the simple things that are beautiful....

Paintings. Sculptures. With art it's almost a physical reaction for me. I like playing the "wander-through-the-museum-and-pick-what-you-would-take-home" game. Walk into a room and see what jumps out at you, what's the first thing that smacks you across the face. Like, " Wow. I want THAT! Something about that says something about me, or connects with something in me". I think that's also part of beauty --the connection. And possibly connection to whoever made it. Somebody else thought that that was beautiful enough to make, so maybe it's a reaffirming of yourself and your feelings. It reconnects you to the human race at large. Theatre can do that too. Shakespeare is like that for me. That's why I love Shakespeare. It was written forever ago, and yet still it's like, this person who lived hundreds of years ago knows exactly how I feel. And I think maybe that's an aspect of beauty as well--the reconnecting and recognizing that other people have the same feelings.




The last beautiful thing that Morgan mentioned was actually prompted by me, based on his response when we had done this exercise with our theatre company. I distinctly remembered him mentioning baby ducks in free fall. Given that he's so well traveled and quite adventurous, I had to know if he had somehow witnessed this phenomenon in person. He had not, but he proceeded to share, in great and perfect detail, the tale of the baby ducks' first flight from the Planet Earth series. In the spirit of connection and the sharing of beauty that Morgan spoke of , I feel it fitting to leave you with a link to that very segment. Thank you, Morgan....